When I Go Walking
When I Go Walking
© 2012, by Marie Dezelic
Have you ever studied yourself?
Studied your physical human form
Examined your totally unique hands and feet, each line and distinctive marking
Every natural curvature to your body
The subtle etched indentations made on your visage by your oh so common facial expressions
The color of your eyes, the devilish twinkle or heart wrenching sadness
What you see of yourself with these colorful tunnels into the depths of your ocean
The feel of the soft hair on your head running through your fingertips
Have you ever studied yourself?
Studied your intellectually created persona
The all knowing of you
Thought about- I am… I come from… I am most similar to… I feel… I crave…
I was… I have accomplished… I will be… I will do… My character is…
I love… I hate… I have been hurt… I cherish…
Every idea, thought, image, feeling and notion you have of yourself
Have you ever studied yourself?
Studied how your sexuality has shaped you among your peers
What it means to you, your soft femininity
What it means to you, your strong masculinity
Which gender in you has engrossed your way of interacting in the outside world
Which gender is more in your disposition
Or are they in constant struggle against each other for expression
Are you in touch with each of the intricate nuances of your aggression and receptiveness
What sexuality and sensuality signify for you
What secrets you carry deep inside of you
How you like to be kissed and touched and caressed
Have you ever studied yourself?
Sat in one place, in one space, in one precise moment, and said to yourself-
I know who I am, in every way, from every angle and every view
From my exterior to my interior
From the muscular physical body to the sophisticated psyche that speaks of who I am
And then thought-
I am none of this
I am not who they all see, who they all know
I am not who I see, and who I know
When I remember this, for that very precious moment
I know that I have received the message
When I go walking…
I leave my body behind
I leave all my collected knowledge of myself, like a trail of tiny footprints
Fading in the sand, trying to keep up
But never quite close enough to catch my stride
I become free from all that is known of me
And all that I know of me
I become what I am…
Me
And then-
I can see the real you
Piercing right through the beating organs, multiple tissue layers and millions of microscopic cells
That are working so diligently to keep you alive
I see your color, I feel your tenderness
I say to you-
I know you, deep from within me
Yet, it’s nice to meet you anew, again and again
When I go walking…
I embrace you and the few others which I have chosen and who have chosen me
To attempt to journey the path together towards our intended meeting place
Sometimes carrying the weight of the human body
And sometimes walking as free and light as a weightless feather floating gently in the sky
When I go walking…
I feel freedom and peace
No care for anything, yet a care for everything
I run, dance, fly and sit
I thank you for accompanying me
And I cherish our sweet moments of infinite togetherness and connection
I treasure being in this altered state of existence with you, my friend
In a place that most do not go or do not dare to even know
When I go walking…
I never wonder, I never question
I never weep and I never fear
Simply,
When I go walking
I am me
And that is all I truly know and see
"Poetry is a healing art: creative, artistic, passionate and soulful;
a painting created with words, a novel created with feelings, an emotion created with spirit." (M. Dezelic)