When I Go Walking

 

 

When I Go Walking
© 2012, by Marie Dezelic 

Have you ever studied yourself? 
Studied your physical human form 
Examined your totally unique hands and feet, each line and distinctive marking 
Every natural curvature to your body 
The subtle etched indentations made on your visage by your oh so common facial expressions 
The color of your eyes, the devilish twinkle or heart wrenching sadness 
What you see of yourself with these colorful tunnels into the depths of your ocean 
The feel of the soft hair on your head running through your fingertips 

Have you ever studied yourself? 
Studied your intellectually created persona 
The all knowing of you 
Thought about- I am… I come from… I am most similar to… I feel… I crave… 
I was… I have accomplished… I will be… I will do… My character is… 
I love… I hate… I have been hurt… I cherish… 
Every idea, thought, image, feeling and notion you have of yourself 

Have you ever studied yourself? 
Studied how your sexuality has shaped you among your peers 
What it means to you, your soft femininity 
What it means to you, your strong masculinity 
Which gender in you has engrossed your way of interacting in the outside world 
Which gender is more in your disposition 
Or are they in constant struggle against each other for expression 
Are you in touch with each of the intricate nuances of your aggression and receptiveness 
What sexuality and sensuality signify for you 
What secrets you carry deep inside of you 
How you like to be kissed and touched and caressed 

Have you ever studied yourself? 
Sat in one place, in one space, in one precise moment, and said to yourself- 
I know who I am, in every way, from every angle and every view 
From my exterior to my interior 
From the muscular physical body to the sophisticated psyche that speaks of who I am 
And then thought- 
I am none of this 
I am not who they all see, who they all know 
I am not who I see, and who I know 
When I remember this, for that very precious moment 
I know that I have received the message 

When I go walking… 
I leave my body behind 
I leave all my collected knowledge of myself, like a trail of tiny footprints 
Fading in the sand, trying to keep up 
But never quite close enough to catch my stride 
I become free from all that is known of me 
And all that I know of me 
I become what I am… 
Me 
And then- 
I can see the real you 
Piercing right through the beating organs, multiple tissue layers and millions of microscopic cells 
That are working so diligently to keep you alive 
I see your color, I feel your tenderness 
I say to you- 
I know you, deep from within me 
Yet, it’s nice to meet you anew, again and again 

When I go walking… 
I embrace you and the few others which I have chosen and who have chosen me 
To attempt to journey the path together towards our intended meeting place 
Sometimes carrying the weight of the human body 
And sometimes walking as free and light as a weightless feather floating gently in the sky 

When I go walking… 
I feel freedom and peace 
No care for anything, yet a care for everything 
I run, dance, fly and sit 
I thank you for accompanying me 
And I cherish our sweet moments of infinite togetherness and connection 
I treasure being in this altered state of existence with you, my friend 
In a place that most do not go or do not dare to even know 

When I go walking… 
I never wonder, I never question 
I never weep and I never fear 
Simply, 
When I go walking 
I am me 
And that is all I truly know and see

"Poetry is a healing art:  creative, artistic, passionate and soulful;

a painting created with words, a novel created with feelings, an emotion created with spirit." (M. Dezelic)

POETRY

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